Just tell them you've joined another cult, a better one
Good JW
JoinedPosts by Good JW
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13
Ended my last J-Dub friendship...
by Joliette ini wrote her a text message telling her not to contact me anymore.
found out that she went back and told my mother some stuff about me.. i shouldnt have never given her my phone number....she's my next door neighbor.. she would always ask if i was going back to the kingdom hall, i would tell her no...people know that i'm not going back to the kingdom hall, and they still think that i'm going back.. i'm planning on moving from my hometown in 2 years and i cannot wait to leave!!!!
so tired of people still thinking i'm a j-dub, i've told people i havent been to the kingdom hall since 2011, and they still think i'm going back.
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Good JW
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6
I've Returned
by m3tadata inhello friends.
recently i had been reflecting back on my past life as a witness, and happened to find myself googling jehovah witnesses and ended up on this website.
i was once an active lurker and occasional poster on this site about 7 years ago when i was exiting the organization and had always enjoyed reading others experiences and topics.
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Good JW
Hello M3tadata, welcome! I too discovered this site about 6 years ago while having questions about "the truth". Have just come back after my world was turned upside-down and realised what was behind the curtain :) Been out for about 5 years now and there's no turning back, nor do I desire to. Just waiting on others in my congregation now, including a close childhood friend, although not holding my breath.
Even though some of what you've described is pretty crappy, you are very fortunate to have discovered this while relatively young; still got a great road ahead! Sadly for some they don't discover The Truth About The Truth (TTATT) until much later in life. This happened with a JW friend of mine, he just "woke up" after 50+ years of 100% dedication to the org (AKA a self aggrandising publishing company who get free labour). He's very frustrated about that, being 60 years old and knowing you've wasted all that time.
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11
New video on youtube
by blownaway ini saw a new video on youtube the jws put out.
it was an elder in his basement and other jws were showing up knocking with a special knock to get in.
outside you could hear people yelling where are the witnesses.
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Good JW
These videos you're referring to are what woke me the hell up.
I knew they would do that for many. I didn't experience those years in the org but could imagine being in the usual semi conscious/comatized state during the assembly but waking up to watch those vids (because it's something half entertaining) and thinking "how the heck did I end up here??!!".
My brother who usually daydreams through most of the meetings (lol) suddenly started observing what was going on and woke up to TTATT in the recent few years. The rebranding was just too much cheese for his liking.
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13
Ended my last J-Dub friendship...
by Joliette ini wrote her a text message telling her not to contact me anymore.
found out that she went back and told my mother some stuff about me.. i shouldnt have never given her my phone number....she's my next door neighbor.. she would always ask if i was going back to the kingdom hall, i would tell her no...people know that i'm not going back to the kingdom hall, and they still think that i'm going back.. i'm planning on moving from my hometown in 2 years and i cannot wait to leave!!!!
so tired of people still thinking i'm a j-dub, i've told people i havent been to the kingdom hall since 2011, and they still think i'm going back.
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Good JW
I'm in agreement with "moreconfusedthanever"; it's part of the package deal we get for "fading". May feel like we're getting sloppy seconds (not their full attention), or as a recent fader said to me, like a girlfriend who'll only see you at the weekends lol.
Before any hasty decisions are made you have to weigh up whether it's worth cutting the "umbilical cord", or perhaps there's a way around it? As much as it's not ideal (i.e. the relationship between a JW and an ex JW), it's still a connection that's hard to replace, especially when it comes to long time friends or family. It's not impossible, just difficult and may take years before you truly bond with another person, depending on your personality.
Of course, it's totally your call and you know the situation better than anyone here. Just speaking from personal experience - I, like yourself got to the end of my tether at one point and pretty much cut off all ties from friends in the kingdom hall (except one). However, in hindsight I know now that it didn't have to be that way, and the loneliness felt could have been prevented. Long story short, I have my own gym and let the brothers use it, although eventually I started to feel taken for granted (which lead to all sorts of brooding/self pity lol, much of which I blamed on the religion) so told them all to stop coming. That kind of threw a spanner in the works (fobbed them off a lot) and eventually they got the message and stopped making the effort.
It's definitely hard when you know for sure that you're the victim in all this, been nice/understanding yet still getting gossiped about. In this regard though, it's only preparatory for life in general so you don't necessarily have to see it as a negative thing. It happens to various degrees in all walks of life. It'll be old news sooner or later, and I've found that riding the storm will keep your sanity and help to keep things in perspective. You'll accept it as part of life, and understand that no matter what you do you'll be gossiped about (either because their life is so sad, out of jealousy, or both). You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. If you "sin" you'll be talked about. If you're successfully people will resent you. Eventually, gossip often comes round to bite the gossiper in the *ss (and sometimes the willing listener too); it negatively affects those involved (e.g. you label that person as untrustworthy), not just the person being spoken about.
Just got to rise above it all, and express yourself to those who understand. The ex JW community have been through it all and can totally relate.
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64
Wave your phone lights and dance at the Assemblies!
by days of future passed inmy sister sent me this youtube.
in it are witnesses waving their phone lights and dancing in the aisles.
sorry if this vid has been posted before.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k7iw-zisgw.
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Good JW
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!...err I mean Jehovah
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30
Annoying jws
by Jrjw ina 'concerned' jw in my congregation rang me earlier and said she's noticed my daughter sits miserable at the meetings and said she's a right miserable girl in general.
i said she's happy and hyper when she's not at the meetings they're just really boring and she doesn't want to be there.
apparently i'm a bad parent coz she feels that way.
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Good JW
@Jrjw - I work with a lady just like yourself, and have a similar nature myself (even though being male). The thing you have to realise is that you DO have rights (this is not wrong or prideful/unchristian/selfish), and it's not unkind to draw boundaries for people (show where the line is without resorting to anger/malice etc). Don't make the mistake that "our type" always do and get confused between niceness and others constantly getting something from you (in this case, the woman is thriving on power). There are limits, and believe it or not, Jesus himself said so:
"Be innocent as doves, but cautious as snakes".
Of course, Jesus wanted people to be loving, but at the same time he knew the state of humanity - that given the chance some people (too many) will exploit what they see as "weakness". Hence the advice to be cautious, or in other words, have your wits about you - become more aware of the situation in an unbiased way (not automatically assuming that others will give the exact same decent courtesy to yourself).
This change in perception will take time, and at first it will feel wrong, but ultimately if you care about other people's feelings (i.e. our nature, the sensing types), then you HAVE to look after yourself first otherwise you'll be so sick and fed up you no longer have the emotional energy for others. This involves not feeling like some second class citizen who has to oblige all the time to other people.
Understand that you have the power to change this situation; not exactly how others behave, but how you let it affect you. In this case, I'd go for disfellowshipping the nosey sister from your life. Believe it or not, she may reflect upon how she's been behaving....and if not, she wasn't a true friend anyway. You don't need people like that in your life.
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76
Hi, all...I'm a faithful JW who is sick of lies about us
by James Donalds ini was baptized 30 years ago and have been in the faith for over 35 years.. our organization isn't perfect.
but i'm sick to death of seeing stereotypes about us.
we are not mindless automatons.
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Good JW
@punkofnice - I considered ignoring the trolling OP, however, decided to get something off my chest instead lol.
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76
Hi, all...I'm a faithful JW who is sick of lies about us
by James Donalds ini was baptized 30 years ago and have been in the faith for over 35 years.. our organization isn't perfect.
but i'm sick to death of seeing stereotypes about us.
we are not mindless automatons.
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Good JW
Talk about a slap in the face to all those honest JWs who got booted and shunned for silly things (some of which they themselves confessed out of guilt). One ex brother I know got disfellowshipped when 16 for smoking and has had nothing but emotional turmoil ever since (family made him feel like crap and didn't speak to him, friends deserted him as some sort of "disappointment" and "contaminant" etc). His life's a mess.
My fleshly brother got grilled by the elders for the same thing last year (smoking was a symptom of other issues, long story); they would have disfellowshipped him if he hadn't quit. He was treated like some sort of criminal! If I didn't stress that it was real life and part of the JW culture people on the outside would have thought this story was a joke/made up, especially as my brother's very meek/mild and has never been in any trouble before. As per usual, it's the ex JWs on the outside and other "worldly people" in "Satan's system" who're left to pick up the pieces of Watchtower's "waste" (i.e. human beings who need help).
So cheers James for rubbing that sort of thing in their faces with your lukewarm loyalty in "God's organisation", finding the loopholes and enjoying being off the radar.
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16
Intro
by jc1985 inhello all, many years i have been lurking on this site.
gradually i’ve learned the real truth, gone from serving as a servant and at bethel to inactive for almost a year, barely ever wasting time going to meetings.
my family is large and very active and so is my wife’s so leaving altogether is difficult.. though it seems now that everything is about to change.
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Good JW
JC1985 - sorry to hear about your wife etc. It's tough when you don't know what's ahead, but before long you'll be grounded again and having a life! Honestly, I'd say the first 2-3 years properly out the org was the hardest because you're in a state of limbo - not really knowing where your "home" is and not feeling connected to anyone. Once that phase of grief is out of the way you'll be surprised at how lost and alone you once felt, and how at one time everything looked hopeless. You'll be glad to hear it's definitely not bleak, you just need to have patience in letting the story play out.
I remember going through euphoric phases, followed by darker ones (very up and down). Nowadays I'm very happy and look forward to the future with excitement (kind of like as a kid). The thing that got to me when leaving was the social life of a JW - I generally felt pretty well connected. Initially I felt that something was missing - that interaction and belonging to something greater (not just in a friendly sense, but religiously/spiritually too). Nowadays I don't even feel that anymore; have made connections with plenty of other people (took a while to start trusting). It's like gradually coming out of a cocoon lol. One thing needs to be shed before you can go to the next stage, and often you don't know what's coming and how much it contributes to inner change. Much of the time you're learning a lot about yourself, there's a great learning curve (bigger than most have to endure).
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22
What Do You Do if the Household Does Not Celebrate?
by BluesBrother init is christmas morning ....the weather outside looks cold grey and dismal (typical britain in winter ) the house is quiet as my wife gets on with something.
.... the street is silent, as dead as the grave.
the tv is full of the purile nonsense that fills airtime this time of year .
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Good JW
@BluesBrother - Yes the grass is always greener on the other side. I decided not to think like that anymore and make the most of what I have. It sucks to be "in-between", not feeling like you belong (or limbo as some have described), but all I can do now is laugh at the situation and appreciate the peculiar nature of social customs/culture (sometimes very silly and illogical, but that's human nature). I try to look ahead and not kid myself. You know, some people may try to fake it, getting into a "Christmas spirit", but it's just not natural for me growing up in the org. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to be something that I'm not, no more pretending/pressure to conform (had enough of that in the org).
Looking forward to Christmas being just between my wife and me - and kids when the time is right. We put children off for some time for the sake of getting our lives/mind to level/balance (4-5 years outside the org now and starting to feel normalacy again!). There's consolation knowing that we can allow our children to feel part of the "magical" nature of Christmas etc, so they won't feel abnormal or uneasy. I do miss my JW family, but thankfully they are starting to warm to me again - at the start they were still pretty fearful of "apostate contamination". So little by little I can get some socialisation back with people I can relate to, all excpept the religion aspect (which I now accept).
By the way, yesturday went alright thanks! Better than expected. It was tiring but nothing over the top, pretty relaxed atmosphere. It makes you appreciate family more though, and "family" are not only relatives, which sadly in my case the in-laws and I are like chalk and cheese lol. Even though I no longer have my JW beliefs, I still find myself relating to the JWs in many things, and appreciating their nature (especially the ones I grew up with). In that respect I clearly see both sides of the coin and can confidently say to any inbetween ex JWs that life which is completely free from WT is the same sh*t but a different pile haha. That's not to sound negative, just a bit of realism, which hopefully can contribute towards improving one's emotional health (i.e. no brooding over what we don't have because of unrealistic expectations, but rather, making the most of what we do).